Another Creepy Christmas

by Jonah Knight

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A collection of creepy Christmas songs! Finally! Half originals, half odd versions of classics.

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released November 1, 2012

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Jonah Knight Fair Oaks, California

Jonah is the world's premier Paranormal Modern Folk musician. From a singer/songwriter background, his songs are about ghosts, monsters, supernatural creepiness, and steampunk.

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Track Name: Perfect Tree
The ghost of Christmas past
Won't let your memory pass
I've been walking around this holiday
Wishing that you were here as the seasons change

Well, oh well

The mist and icy snow
I wish for mistletoe
This arctic wind is nothing but freezing
And our perfect tree
I dream it's navy green
and growing down out of the ceiling

Some how December lasts forever
My imagination wins best picture
Maybe it's picture perfect if I can put us in it
Some how December is never really worth it

Well, oh well

The mist and icy air
The red scarf you used to wear
Always conjured up that holiday feeling
And our perfect tree
I dream it's navy green
and growing down out of the ceiling

There was magic in the air the day that they took us down
All the banks we knocked off and the people that we gunned down
And it took the FBI to finally track us down
Track us down...

It's too bad we won't be going home
Another 25 Christmases alone
It's really too bad we ran through out luck
And it's really too bad that all the charges stuck

Well, oh well

And I couldn't believe the way you looked
When you grabbed the judge around the neck and shook
Whenever I remember that I wind up laughing
And our perfect tree
I dream it's navy green
and growing down out of the ceiling
Track Name: Here Come The Yuletide Lads!
So you say you wanna move to Iceland
For the people and the land and the sky
But before you go you really should know what happens there at Christmas time

Here come the Yuletide Lads
13 trolls, live in a hole
Here they come, one by one
Sneaking into your home

Sheep-Cote Clod will harass your sheep
Gully Gawk will steal all the milk you drink
Stubby will eat all the crust you leave in the sink
Spoon-Licker will lick all your spoons in a blink

Here come the Yuletide Lads
13 trolls, live in a hole
Here they come, one by one
Sneaking into your home

Pot-Scraper snacks on your leftovers till they’re done
Bowl-Licker cleans all your bowls with his tongue
Door-Slammer causes a commotion while you sleep
Skyr-Gobbler sucks up your yogurt through his teeth

Here come the Yuletide Lads
13 trolls, live in a hole
Here they come, one by one
Sneaking into your home

Sausage-Swiper doesn’t care if they’re spicy or they’re sweet
Window-Peeper peeps in on your peeper when you peep
Doorway-Sniffer loves the stink from your feet
Meat-Hook uses a hook to steal your meat
Candle-Stealer creeps after little children and eats up all their candles because he thinks that they are a tasty treat

So, I hope that you move to Iceland
And I hope you enjoy your stay
But bring your gun and a bottle of rum
Cuz the Yuletide lads will visit you someday
Track Name: What Christmas Means To Me: a duet with Mikey Mason
Mikey:
My baby she comes by
Her arms are piled high
Presents all for me I hope I like 'em
Even if I don't
She'll take off her coat
We'll spend all night unwrapping

Chorus:
Jingle bells are all you hear
Blinking lights are all you see
And the reason for the season is a 12 day shopping spree
Gettin' lots of stuff
Gettin' real drunk
And now you know what Christmas means to me

Jonah:
I love the way new snow
Crunches underneath my toes
I always think it sounds just like cracking bones
I like to catch the eye
Of all the passersby
And remember that they're soulless zombie dead-weight corporate clones

Chorus:
Jingle bells are all you hear
Blinking lights are all you see
And the reason for the season is a 12 day shopping spree
Gettin' lots of stuff
Gettin' real drunk
And now you know what Christmas means to me

Mikey:
Cruising down the avenue in my one horse open sleigh
Picking up my lady for a naughty night of cosplay
She calls me pappa Christmas, loves my sack of toys
I've got an inflatable Rudolph that I bought from the choir boys

Jonah:
I decorate with glee
My solstice pagan tree
In my heart I know the Jesus was just a man
The Atheists will rise
With guns and bombs, harpoons and knives
You wanted a war on Christmas well my friend I think it just began

Chorus:
Jingle bells are all you hear
Blinking lights are all you see
And the reason for the season is a 12 day shopping spree
Gettin' lots of stuff
Gettin' real drunk
And now you know what Christmas means to me
Track Name: The Krampus
Saint Nicholas is a good man
Rewarding your purity
If you're kind, he'll be generous
Underneath your Christmas tree
But his brother is different
He doesn't care for the innocent
Rotten children hide in fear cry until dawn on Christmas day.

The Krampus is an evil man
If he is a man at all
There are whispers of his legend
Growing louder as the snow starts to fall
And he won't leave bad children coal
Blow out the heat and make them cold
He snatches them up stuffs them in a sack drags them to Hell on Christmas day.

He creeps down from the mountains
In the biting ice of the winter
He hunts out wicked children
Village to village every December
His hide will keep him warm
Bloody claws and sharpened horns
He will return back to his cave with children for supper on Christmas day.

Saint Nicholas is a good man
Spreading hope from the light
The Krampus is an evil man
Sowing panic in the night
And so, next Christmas time
Please keep this in your mind
If you hold hate in your heart it'll shine like a beacon on Christmas day.